Whenever we experience a major loss, we need to grieve in order to
understand the impact of the loss on our life and how to cope with the
myriad of changes that are required after such a transition. Everyone
grieves in a different way, and there are situations that complicate the
grief process. If you feel you may be struggling with complicated
grief, please call or email me for support.
FIVE SECRETS TO HEALTHY GRIEVING
Make time to grieve.
Set aside time to grieve. Use this time to feel the emotions that come
with loss, and to regulate your tempo with how you feel. No one
prepares you for how difficult it will be, but you can facilitate the
process by learning healthy ways to cope with the challenges grief brings.
Get support from others.
Asking for help can be one of the most difficult things we do. Many of
us have been taught to “be strong” when we face a crisis or a
loss. But grief work requires that we find someone who will listen to
us. We’re all rusty at these things, but with guidance, we can
learn ways of asking for and accepting help from our support system.
Develop skills that help you remember you are a worthwhile person.
Grief slows you down and gives you a chance to turn inward on your journey.
Use this time to explore your life assumptions, set new priorities and find
personal inner peace. You have choices in your grief work: you can let
grief control you and fall into a deep depression or illness; you can ignore
it by staying busy and find that it keeps showing up in other ways. Or,
you can gain knowledge of how to embrace your pain and grow positively from
it.
Create a physical environment that supports rather than stresses you.
During this time, stress levels increase, and you need all the opportunities
you can find to relax. Starting with your home, carve out places where you
can feel safe. Try setting up a meditation corner where you can unwind
and let go of tension. You can’t predict how you’ll feel day to
day, but there are many rituals of healing you can learn that will bring you
comfort during this difficult time.
Take care of yourself .
Be aware that there are physical as well as emotional aspects to
grief. Exercise increases your strength and stamina, and reduces your
stress. Healthy eating gives your body the good nourishment it
needs. You’re more vulnerable after you suffer a major loss, and
your sleeping and eating patterns may be interrupted. There may even be
multiple losses that increase your risk for health concerns. Learn what
red flags to watch out for, and how to handle them.
Written by Chris Kalamon, L.C.S.W.,
www.ChrisKalamon.com .
May be reprinted for personal use only. If you wish to reprint
as a handout, please contact Chris Kalamon for permission.